Throughout the course of my relationship, I felt sexually stifled. I’ve always been very in touch with my sensual side, but since he was so conservative it had to be put to the side…far, far side. Too damn far. I had to change the way I dressed, spoke (including content), behaved, etc., all in the name of “proper” behavior. It was my choice to do it and allow it, so I take full responsibility for having done it. However, after my breakup I was determined to get it back and reclaim who I was, who I really am. To be honest, he is not alone in his way of thinking. Society tells us that sex is taboo and for reproductive purposes only. They tell women especially that they must shelve their sexual side when they marry and/or become mothers. I completely disagree. In fact, I think it’s unhealthy. I’m no sex therapist, but I am a woman and a mother. For women, part of our identity revolves around our sexuality. I don’t mean sexual orientation but rather everything sex-related, whether it is the act itself, femininity, clothing, certain lifestyles, etc.
In terms of the act itself, everyone has to make the choice that works for them. I will NEVER tell someone if, when, or with whom they should engage in this act. That is a personal decision that is reserved for us as individuals to make. Personally, well, I love sex and have ever since I first performed the act. No, I will not share tales of my exploits, but I have a child so clearly I’ve done it at least once, he wasn’t my first, and since I’ve clearly been in a relationship, my daughter’s father wasn’t my last. Beyond that, well, at this time I choose not to share. What I will share is this, I will always be a strong advocate for women not being put on the shelf. Hell, no one should be put on the shelf. The world is not made up of only Madonnas and whores; there is everything in between, and each person has to decide where within that spectrum their true identity lies, and embrace it.
Sex is more than just the most pleasurable act ever gifted to us. It is an art, with so many different aspects to it. It is also a part of an amazing world and lifestyle that is considered taboo, one that I have recently become a part of. I will not tell you the name yet, but I will in due course. Just know that it is so much more than its stereotype or what you see in movies. What I will tell you is that it is most definitely not p**n or stripping, which is not wrong either, just not my thing. What I’m talking about is something completely different, and it is the art and lifestyle that I am embracing during my journey of sexual reclamation and discovery. I will periodically share elements of my journey. I want you to take it with me, and if you’re already on yours, or have experience with it, share in the comments section.