The communal nature of human beings as a species requires us to have things in common in order to exist within the community. On the other hand, we are still individuals within that community, and within that sphere there are rules and judgement. The expression, “Always be yourself,” should come with an (*) and the disclaimer at the bottom that says, “As long as you still fit in.” There are certain things that are taboo within our society, but what that is ebbs and flows like water in the ocean. It changes. What is taboo today will not be so a few months or years from now. So how do you exist in this society with your taboo self?
I’ve always stood out in some way, shape, or form, but I’ve also been the queen of blending in. It was terribly difficult growing up, knowing I was different, being criticized for being different, becoming the same (on the outside at least) and staying that way for years, before it all came crashing down on me, causing great internal suffering. Through time and, yes, I’ll admit it, therapy, I came to terms with who I am. I am now thriving. However, there are still things about me, interests, that I have and love that are taboo, and for the sake of my career I keep them hidden…for now. As time goes on, I become more and more comfortable with showing those parts of myself, and each time I do I feel a great sense of relief and peace. This place, my website, has been a great help. I know that there are others like me, and I can’t wait to reveal more and more of myself. It’s not anything crazy, at least in my opinion, but they are things that are still considered unaccepted and taboo by today’s societal standards.
If you would like to get an idea though, check out some of my other posts. There are some subtle, and not so subtle hints. The bottom line though is that while we are forced to “blend in” with society and its norms on some level, there is a way to acculturate rather than assimilate; you don’t need to lose yourself or hide it completely. Rather, find a way to have them both coexist.
Enough lecturing. I’m about to take my taboo ass to the gym.